He couldn't get into Harvard even if he had the dean's wife at gunpoint.

Dave Barry
Some Similar Quotes
  1. Because I trust in the ever-changing climate of the heart. (At least, today I feel that way.) I think it is necessary to have many experiences for the sake of feeling something; for the sake of being challenged, and for the sake of being expressive,... - Jason Mraz

  2. The past has no power over the present moment. - Eckhart Tolle

  3. It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. - Confucius

  4. Often, it’s not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be. - Heath L. Buckmaster

  5. Art is unquestionably one of the purest and highest elements in human happiness. It trains the mind through the eye, and the eye through the mind. As the sun colors flowers, so does art color life. - John Lubbock

More Quotes By Dave Barry
  1. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.

  2. I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a moral person, but I'm definitely not religious, and I'm very tired of the preachiness and obsession with other people's behavior characteristic of many religious people in the...

  3. It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.

  4. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

  5. The problem with winter sports is that -- follow me closely here -- they generally take place in winter.

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